Intention and Discipline

11-15-10

Intention, Discipline. I have been here for 1 hours, trying to switch gears to write and start my assignments. I feel that I have to empty my brain. I read scripture, thought thru my life. Maybe I am to reflective and proactive. I bites me in the butt sometimes. I guess you could say that I struggle with focus. I have music on the soften the noise of talking around me, in this packed room. I am staying here till I get a lot accomplished.

I feel that it is hard to be disciplined in school work. I like to do detail work, lots of little assignments versus a few big ones. Maybe I should just break it down into small pieces to trick my brain! I started with a list to see what is ahead of me. Today needs to be the day. Balance and to be present. What a struggle. I love to learn new things and that’s why I am here, discipline in life and proactivity and intention is another story. I guess that’s where my compass comes in. I get done what I set out to do, when I set out to do it. What a privilege that is. I just need to not dilly dally. I need to make many right decisions over and over or else something in my schedule doesn’t get done, sometimes house work or family. I haven’t had to learn discipline from many places that come from other places than in my own head and agenda. School and Toastmasters has been a tester of that.

Teachers need to set us straight. Someone next to me wants to get his Rough Draft proofread but he turned in his final draft already. Time management and organization is an important element of life. We need someone to get us on the right track. The teacher wouldn’t do proofread it.

As I sit here, getting ready to write and be inspired, I realized that staying in it on a regular basis keeps things fresh in our minds. Our minds easily get distracted and needs reminding. Blogging daily would help or reading daily. Keeps our minds active.

I am in school because I have chosen to be. God give me wisdom in decision making for my life. Michael is gracious to not have me work right now. I can’t believe it has been 15 months. I wish growth was faster. I guess it can be if things are condensed into less time. Help me to tighten things up a bit. Having a clear focus helps, because then you can narrow things down easier and get somewhere faster. Like today, when I was walking with Barb at Peters Canyon, we didn’t have a map and didn’t know the best way back to the car. So we took the long way, took a scenic route, and hit a dead end. A clear map of our journey with destinations would have helped us get to the goal faster. It can be an analogy of life, that life can be harder and more time consuming then needed because we didn’t have a road map or even a clear destination. God, give me a clear mind to what direction you want me to go. I have done some amazing things, but will you give me a clear goal to reach? I believe you work through all things I do, but it would be nice to have a clear focus.

I am feeling so many things, that make my heart leap. Cultures, learning about people, ESL, connecting people, helping others experience new things, learning new things in general, I enjoy being with people more, being honest about myself, being around people that like to learn, being around children in small groups, nature, reflection, silence, being at IVC and Toastmasters, speaking, serving, hospitality, talking about my walk with Christ with others, meeting new people, eating well, exercising outside, movie soundtracks, good movies, going fun places with the family, or kids one on one, having happy hour with others, creating a space for others to relax and be together, connecting like minded people, serving in such a way that I don’t have myself on the radar, details, doing lots of little jobs, yardwork outside, lying in the hammock, tedious jobs, doing the mundane over and over, having little kids over, making meals for people, cooking, reading, laying in the pool on a raft, relaxing at the beach, reflecting, hanging out with toddlers, reading to toddlers, learning to be expressive.

I have a reading to do at Toastmasters tomorrow and papers to write. So long for now.