Thankful

Being productive today, actually allowed for some space in my schedule. That was a new feeling. Not that i finished my to do list, but the urgent things were completed. Nothing was needing to be done today. There is always something to do but it could be done this week. I have been working hard lately at being productive and not getting stuck in busy work. My to do list has been more specific. It has been nice to feel like i completed the important stuff. I was getting tired of having things that needed to be done hanging over me. It was stifling my creativity and productivity. Always feeling that i should be doing something else.

In my time with the Lord today, I was reminded to spend more time with Him but also to do something that can't be done in my abilities. Then, I am truly trusting. What would He want me to do? Stepping out when I don't see the next step but trusting He will be there. I don't really want to do where is isn't, anyways. That was a prayer of mine when i went to Ecuador for the first time. If he wasn't going to be there with me, stop me from going. It is so easy to go about life and do what we want but also to do it in our ability. I have learned that doing it without Him, has little or no eternal fruit. Everything i do and have is from Him. I could not have all that i have or have done, without Him. Nothing in me could have created something so wonderful.

I have been very thankful lately. I don't know if it is because I am older, but i see now all the blessings i have been given in my life time. My husband, my Lord, my children, my home, cars, food, health, family, friends, personal growth, travel, experiences, school, my desire to learn and grow, my mom, material blessings, etc, etc. Considering the broken person i was when i got married, it really wasn't because of anything i did. Yeah, i probably made some good choices along the way, but it was God's grace. Our nature is not to do good, we mess up and sometimes don't even know it. We get blinded and God loves me so much, that he doesn't want to allow me to continue in sin so he saves me. Thanks be to God and Him alone. I am thankful for my wonderful husband, he as anyone, will fail me but i love him along the way. I am thankful for his commitment to our marriage and our life together. I pray my children find someone committed to them, teachable and forgiving.

As i look at my pics on my wall above my desk, i realize that 13 of them are from Ecuador. I hope to go back soon, maybe this summer, Lord? :) It would be awesome to stay a few weeks at the orphanage. You have made each trip an amazing journey and tested my faith in provision. Maybe it will be like the thot from my time with you this morning, plan on doing something that only could happen if God made it happen. That would truly be you. As i looked at my dream board as well, i saw a book. To author a book would be only done with your hand. Create in me what and who you want me to be in order for that to happen. I will keep taking steps, Lord, help me to take steps large enough that cause me to trust and that move things along.

I seem to procrastinate the big projects that i need to do. Help me to think about them and move on them. They are like a big elephant in the middle of the room, needing to be eaten one bite at a time, instead of ignored.